Cast: Jeff Goldblum, Elizabeth Perkins, Alexander Pollock, Miriam Margolyes, Tobey Maguire (voice), Alec Baldwin (voice), Michael Clarke Duncan (voice), Sean Hayes (voice), Jon Lovitz (voice), Joe Pantoliano (voice), Susan Sarandon (voice)
Director: Lawrence Guterman
Producers: Christopher DeFaria, Andrew Lazar, Craig Perry, Warren Zide
Screenplay: John Requa & Glenn Ficarra
Cinematography: Julio Macat
Music: John Debney
U.S. Distributor: Warner Brothers
For his feature debut, director Lawrence Guterman has attempted to fuse Babe (cute talking animal trying to navigate his way through a world of humans and other talking animals) with Spy Kids (family-friendly espionage story). In a strange way, he has succeeded - Cats and Dogs takes the worst elements of both movies and pulls them together to create an end-product so juvenile and tedious that only a child could possibly appreciate what it has to offer. Cats and Dogs isn't just a miscalculation - it's a wholesale blunder.
Cats and Dogs has one of those simplistic plotlines that five year-olds can follow and adults are unlikely to care about. It seems that a gang of cats, led by the nefarious Mr. Tinkles (voice provided by Sean Hayes), are out to take over the world and subjugate humanity (how they plan to do this is never made clear; I suppose we're supposed to take it on faith). Their only obstacles are dogs - specifically canine secret agents like rookie Lou (Tobey Maguire) and veteran Butch (Alec Baldwin). When a human scientist (Jeff Goldblum) invents a formula that will cure humans of their allergies to dog dander (thus strengthening the bond between man and his best friend), Mr. Tinkles comes up with a plan to steal the serum. So it's dogs against cats, with the well-being of the human race in the balance.
I am willing to admit that, as a 30-minute short, Cats and Dogs might have been enjoyable, but, as a full-length motion picture, it's an interminable bore. Screenwriters John Requa and Glenn Ficcara think they have penned a clever script, but the leaden nature of the quips, in-jokes, and pop references (including yet another Matrix spoof) serves to emphasize how subversively funny and intelligent movies like Chicken Run and Shrek are. Cats and Dogs is loaded with moments that are supposed to be comical, but aren't. And the film curiously misses nearly every opportunity - and there are many of them - to parody the spy genre. If the resemblance between Mr. Tinkles and Blofeld's cat is intentional, the movie doesn't do anything with it.
One of the few points-of-interest the film has to offer is the "guess the voice" game. Several high profile actors have lent their vocal talents: Tobey Maguire, Susan Sarandon, Alec Baldwin, and Jon Lovitz, to name a few. The human actors - namely Jeff Goldblum and Elizabeth Perkins - lack the partial anonymity of their faceless counterparts. Watching Goldblum stumble around in a role that might be perfect for Rick Moranis, I wondered sadly how low his career must have sunk for him to have accepted this assignment.
Not coincidentally, many of my complaints about Cats and Dogs are the same ones I voiced about Eddie Murphy's Dr. Dolittle 2. Both films believe that the mere presence of talking animals is enough to send audience members into paroxysms of laughter - they don't have to do anything except show up on screen. Both films rely on overly simplistic stories with no character development. And both films deliver humor that is aimed at viewers with ages in the single-digit range. As a result, Dr. Dolittle 2 and Cats and Dogs function as kids' movies, not family movies. They are suitable only for the most self-sacrificing parents.
The commercials for Cats and Dogs set this up as the latest chapter in a longstanding rivalry. In reality, however, there's a clear anti-feline bias. Not that it matters much, but cat people surely will not be pleased (if they can stay awake and muster enough energy to care). At its best, Cats and Dogs is a series of missed opportunities that represents adequate entertainment for the age 5-9 crowd. At its worst, this is another example of why so many PG-rated films fail at the box office.
© 2001 James Berardinelli