Cast: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Rob Schneider, Lela Rochon, Michael Wong, Paul Sorvino
Director: Tsui Hark
Producer: Shi Nansun
Screenplay: Steven E. De Souza
Cinematography: Arthur Wong
Music: Ron Mael and Russell Mael
U.S. Distributor: TriStar Pictures
On the roster of films not screened for the critical community before their release, there are generally two kinds of entries: bad movies and movies that make bad movies look good. Knock Off, the latest pairing of legendary Hong Kong director Tsui Hark with less-than- legendary Western "actor" Jean-Claude Van Damme (they previously joined forces for Double Team), belongs solidly in the latter camp. This motion picture is almost worth attending for the experience of seeing how low film makers can sink in their never-ending quest to bilk the action picture audience out of a few hard-earned dollars.
In general, I like to give a synopsis of every movie I review, but it's difficult in the case of Knock Off, because the plot lacks even a semblance of coherency. I think the basic idea is to completely baffle the viewers so they don't immediately realize how bad things are. Nevertheless, in spite of the Freddy Krueger-style editing and the infantile screenwriting (credited to Steven E. De Souza, the man who wrote both Die Hard and Die Hard 2), I eventually managed to figure out the general direction in which things were heading. That's not to intimate that anything makes sense, since the flimsy storyline and flimsier "character development" are just excuses for loud, flashy gunfights, martial arts demonstrations, and digitally-enhanced explosions (which look fake). It's also necessary to ignore the fact that one individual keeps inexplicably coming back from the dead.
The setting is June 30, 1997 in Hong Kong – the day the British handed over control to the Chinese (not that this has anything to do with the plot – it just makes for "colorful" background). Van Damme takes on the role of Marcus Ray, a fashion designer who specializes in selling "knock off" (counterfeit) jeans. His partner in crime, Tommy Hendricks (Rob Schneider), is actually an undercover C.I.A. agent. So is Karan Leigh (Lela Rochon), a tough-talker who is pretending to be investigating the knock offs. Actually, she's tracking down a mole in the department, who happens to be Harry Johannson (Paul Sorvino), Hendricks' boss. He's the head of a group of partners who plan to hold the world hostage by threatening to explode tiny bombs implanted in the studs of every pair of knock off jeans across the globe. (Nice to have a megalomaniac who comes up with a new idea now and again – hit people where it really hurts, in the hip pocket.) Of course, Ray can't allow this because he's basically a good guy at heart, so, along with a Hong Kong cop (Michael Wong), he sets off to bring the villain down.
It's amazing how boring an action movie can be when there's absolutely no point to all of the sound and fury. Staying awake is a chore, and stifling an occasional yawn is impossible. Actually, watching Knock Off is a little like being stuck inside an interminable MTV video – lots of noise, bizarre camera angles, quick cuts, and other photographic tricks, none of which mean anything in the absence of an entertaining structure. There are certain experiences in life that we all dread: a visit to the proctologist's, an afternoon in court, and becoming trapped in a movie theater showing something as excruciating as Knock Off. At the screening I attended, there were about a dozen people still around for the end credits. My excuse was that I had to write this review. What, I wonder, were theirs? (Maybe they dozed off.)
Jean-Claude Van Damme is not what anyone would call an accomplished actor, but that's not really his job. He's basically on hand to show off his muscles, present the viewer with a likable hero, and kickbox the bad guys to death. His physicality is the reason he's popular with Hong Kong directors (to date, he has headlined films helmed by Tsui Hark, Ringo Lam, and John Woo). However, even recognizing Van Damme's limitations didn't prepare me for the howlingly awful nature of his performance here, where every line of dialogue is shouted with such over-the-top ferocity that I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. Rob Schneider makes one of the most incredibly irritating sidekicks of all time. Lela Rochon and Paul Sorvino, on hand for the pay check and the free vacation, don't put out enough effort to raise the acting standard noticeably. Then there's poor Michael Wong, a mainstay of Hong Kong films, who somehow got suckered into making his Hollywood-financed debut in this abomination.
Knock Off manages the seemingly-impossible feat of making The Avengers look good by comparison. And Van Damme made me yearn for Steven Seagal. Earlier this summer, I commented that it would be difficult for any late-year film to beat out Saving Private Ryan honor of first position in this year's Best 10 List. I could make a similar statement about Knock Off, but you can bet it wouldn't be the Top 10 that I'd be referring to, and the word in question wouldn't be "honor."
© 1998 James Berardinelli