Cast: Steve Oedekerk, Tad Horino, Philip Tan, Jennifer Tung
Director: Steve Oedekerk
Producers: Steve Oedekerk, Paul Marshal
Screenplay: Steve Oedekerk
Cinematography: John J. Connor
Music: Robert Folk
U.S. Distributor: 20th Century Fox
After enduring the 80 minute ordeal that goes by the name of Kung Pow: One of the Worst Spoofs Ever Made, I tried to imagine what kind of pitch meeting might have resulted in a producer greenlighting this project...
Steve Oedekerk: Hey, I've got a great idea.
Studio Bigwig: We like you. You've made money for a couple of other studios in this town; now it's our turn. Let's hear it.
SO: Well, you know how big martial arts films are these days...
SB: They are?
SO: Yeah. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The Matrix. Rush Hour. You can't make an action movie these days without having some sort of martial arts stunt in it. Hell, even Shrek has it. So, let's make a parody of the martial arts genre.
SB: Huh? You mean like Scary Movie, but with kung fu?
SO: We don't call it "kung fu" anymore. That went out with the '80s. The proper term is "martial arts."
SB: Martial arts, chop socky, kung fu - who cares? But aren't these martial arts movies funny in their own right? I mean, every time I try to watch an old Bruce Lee movie, I end up rolling around on the floor.
SO: But that's the beauty of it. We can take all the bad things about martial arts movies - the things people love - and toss them all together to make fun of them. On top of that, we can use an old martial arts movie and digitally insert current actors and stuff into it.
SB: I dunno... I mean, you did that second Ace Ventura movie, which made a lot of bucks, so you must know what audiences like, but...
SO: It will be dubbed using people with cartoon-like voices.
SB: Sounds kind of cerebral to me.
SO: There will be lots of slapstick.
SB: Is Jim Carrey going to be in it?
SO: Uh, no. I thought I'd star, as well as write and direct. I'm multi-talented. Besides, Jim wasn't the reason people liked Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. It was the fart and poop jokes. Everybody loves fart and poop jokes. They're what makes the world go 'round. You could have a whole movie of nothing but fart and poop jokes and it would make $100 million.
SB: We already tried that. It made over $100 million. I guess we don't need Carrey. He's turned weird anyway. The Majestic. Sheesh. Not a fart or poop joke to be found. It tanked. And to think he used to do quality stuff like those Ace Ventura things. Anyway, this movie of yours - it may have possibilities. Any sexy women? Bikini scenes. Nipples and pubic hair hidden by fruit? Can't have real nudity - it needs to be PG-13.
SO: There's a woman with one breast, but it stays under her clothes. And someone who takes off her top, but we only see her from behind. Of course, being the director, I'll get to see it from the front. But we'll throw in all sorts of disgusting stuff. A guy with a plastic glove. And a cow that uses the milk from its udder as a projectile weapon. People haven't seen something that cool since the elephant masturbation scene in Freddy Got Fingered.
SB: Can you get a cow to do that?
SO: In this age of computer generated graphics, you can get a cow to do anything. Even fly around in a twister. Just think of it - Matrix-style moves, bodily fluids, and a lactating cow. What more could you want?
SB: Sold! How much money do you need...
Am I the only one who thinks this sounds like a bad idea to start with? Simply put, you can't effectively satirize something that pre-exists in the realm of self-parody. Choppily-edited, badly-dubbed martial arts movies may be hilarious in their own right, but the humor is unintentional. And that's the charm. Kung Pow makes the fatal mistake of using the same techniques in a deliberate effort to be funny. That's just crass. This looks like what might happen if a couple of high school kids, as a project for film class, extended a bad five-minute Saturday Night Live skit extended into a feature length movie. As an amateur project made by teenagers, Kung Pow might deserve an A. As the product of a major studio, it warrants no better than a D-.
Arguably, the most clever aspect of the movie is its use of the 1977 film Tiger and Crane Fist (a.k.a. Savage Killers) as the backdrop for Kung Pow's "action". Using digital effects techniques, Oedekerk inserts himself seamlessly into scenes from the earlier feature, making it appear as if he's interacting with the characters in Tiger and Crane Fist. Unfortunately, the production values are so shoddy (intentionally, I assume) that most viewers will be unaware of this bit of digital chicanery. Only those "in the know" (or those who sit through the end credits, where all is revealed - sort of) will be aware of what's going on. So the entire framework becomes one gargantuan in-joke. To enhance the overall "comedy", Oedekerk exaggerates the lip mis-synching caused by dubbing and uses ridiculously inappropriate voices. (The villain is a male soprano, the sexy girl is an old woman, etc.) This is amusing for about three minutes. After that, it becomes irritating. By the end of the film, I was hoping the sound system would implode. Never have I more fervently wished for the return of the silent film era.
Is there a plot? None worth mentioning. Oedekerk plays "The Chosen One", a martial arts messiah who goes on a quest to destroy a big, bad villain named Betty (Betty is a man). Betty killed his parents, so The Chosen One is going to kill Betty. Throw in something about flying saucers from France and you have elements Ed Wood would appreciate. But, if you've gone to Kung Pow for the plot, you have made a mistake. Come to think of it, if you have gone for the comedy, you've also made a mistake. In fact, if you've gone at all, you've made a mistake.
© 2002 James Berardinelli