Cast: Bridget Fonda, Bill Pullman, Oliver Platt, Brendan Gleeson, Betty White, Meredith Salinger
Director: Steve Miner
Producers: David E. Kelley, Michael Pressman
Screenplay: David E. Kelley
Cinematography: Daryn Okada
Music: John Ottman
U.S. Distributor: 20th Century Fox
Where's Crocodile Dundee when you really need him?
Lake Placid is arguably the most idiotic monster movie to arrive in multiplexes since the stunningly awful Deep Rising slithered in 18 months ago. If there's one thing to be said about this movie, which features a hapless band of humans tangling with a 30-foot crocodile, it's that the film makers are aware that no one in their right mind could possibly take this premise seriously. So director Steve Miner (H20) and writer David E. Kelley (TV's "The Practice" and "Ally McBeal") have constructed the film with their tongues planted in their cheeks. Unfortunately, adding a strong dose of intentional camp to a film doesn't necessarily make it an enjoyable experience. Lake Placid isn't so bad that it's good; it's so bad that it's really bad.
The movie is in trouble from the start. Considering the weaponry contained in one character's impressive arsenal, the entire story becomes kind of pointless. The only way the protagonists are going to be in danger is if they do something incredibly stupid - which (of course) they do, repeatedly. It doesn't take long before we start rooting for the crocodile to eliminate them, if for no other reason than to do the human race a favor. People this dumb shouldn't be allowed to reproduce. Generally speaking, this is not the attitude a filmmaker wants an audience to have regarding his characters.
Lake Placid's weak premise is made even weaker by the execution. I don't know whether Miner's approach is intentional or not, but the construction of Lake Placid makes him look like an incompetent hack. The film features all of the expected scare sequences (accompanied by a blare of music) and tired killer's point-of-view shots (the "croc-cam"). I kept looking for something interesting, slyly satirical, or otherwise original about these devices, but there isn't anything there. All we get is a bunch of IQ-challenged characters traipsing through a laughably bad scenario brought to life using silly dialogue, banal direction, and questionable special effects.
Most of the action takes place on or around Black Lake, a gorgeous body of water in Maine. (At least there's some nice scenery to look at...) It's there that a 30-foot long Asian crocodile has decided to make its home. After it uses a visiting Fish and Game official for a dinner appetizer, an oddly matched group of four gathers to hunt it down. They are Hank Keough (Brendan Gleeson), the local sheriff; Jack Wells (Bill Pullman), a Fish and Game warden; Kelly Scott (Bridget Fonda), a paleontologist who's afraid of the woods; and Hector Cyr (Oliver Platt), an eccentric mythology professor who is infatuated with crocodiles. Hank and Jack are out to eliminate the croc by any means possible; Kelly and Hector, on the other hand, want to capture it alive.
This is the kind of movie that might work best if the monster was obviously a rubber puppet. Unfortunately, an attempt is made to generate a realistic-looking crocodile. It works for a while - at least as long as we don't get a clear look at the creature. Once the crocodile clambers out of the water and the animatronic version is exchanged for a computer generated model, the effect is disappointing. This is not a monster to strike fear into the heart of the movie-goer. The crocodile that Paul Hogan wrestled in Crocodile Dundee was more intimidating.
People often ask me why respected actors agree to appear in movies like this. In the official publicity material, they throw out reasons like wanting to be in a movie with a "strange and wonderful" script (Bridget Fonda) or yearning to work in something "with this weird and wonderful mix of characters embarking on a strange journey" (Bill Pullman). Regardless of what they say, however, we know the real reason: a big paycheck. And, while none of the actors does a terrible job, they don't excel, either. Along the way, Bridget Fonda does as much screaming as she does talking (I wondered if this was an unofficial audition for the Fay Wray part in a new King Kong movie), and Irish actor Brendan Gleeson (who played the title role in The General) stumbles over his American accent. Bill Pullman, who has already fought aliens (Independence Day) and ghosts (Casper), remains calm and cool when confronted by a toothy reptilian grin. And Oliver Platt (The Impostors) tries very hard not to take anything seriously. Plus, in a supporting part, Betty White gets to spew more profanity than she has uttered in all of her previous screen roles combined. (This is supposed to be amusing, but it's not even close.)
As a thriller, Lake Placid fails to generate even a slim moment's tension. It's dull and plodding, and never really goes anywhere. As a comedy, it is decidedly unfunny. Despite the campy underpinning, the only laughs resulting from this effort are unintentional ones. The best way to describe Lake Placid is as a bad rip-off of Anaconda, which was itself a bad rip-off of Jaws. That makes this movie a second generation rip-off, which is just one of many ways to say "Stay Away."
© 1999 James Berardinelli