Starring: Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper, Samantha Mathis, Fisher Stevens, Richard
Edson
Directors: Rocky Morton and Annabel Jankel
Producers: Jake Eberts and Roland Joffe
Screenplay: Parker Bennett, Terry Runte, and Ed Solomon
Music: Alan Silvestri
Released by Hollywood Pictures
65 million years ago, when an asteroid crashed into the Earth and obliterated the dinosaurs, a parallel dimension was created in which dinosaurs evolved into the dominant creature. Now, millennia later, King Koopa (Dennis Hopper) of Dinohatten wants to fuse the two dimensions together so that he can expand his domain (and increase the food supply). There are two elements necessary to his plan: a small chip of the asteroid broken off upon impact and Princess Daisy (Samantha Mathis), who lives in the other dimension and, coincidentally, wears the asteroid chip as a necklace. Koopa sends his incompetent cousins, Iggy (Fisher Stevens) and Spike (Richard Edson), through the bridge between worlds to capture Daisy, who is in the process of falling for Luigi Mario (John Leguizamo), an apprentice plumber. When, after numerous mistakes, Iggy and Spike finally capture her and take her back to their dimension, Luigi and his brother, Mario Mario (Bob Hoskins), go to her rescue.
Describing the storyline of Super Mario Brothers is a difficult chore, considering how little intelligible plot there is. I suppose it's only natural to expect this, considering the source material. As everyone knows, arcade-style diversions are not known for strong, original narratives or well-developed characters. In that sense, this film is worthy of its inspiration.
The fun of playing the video game is that you're involved -- you control what the little figure on the screen does. With the movie, on the other hand, you're a bystander, sitting in a seat watching a bunch of actors run around getting absolutely nothing done and speaking dialogue that could have been written by a precocious five-year old. Following an unnecessarily long opening sequence (which is actually the best part of the movie), Super Mario Brothers is ninety-odd minutes of pointless action sequences which serve little purpose other than to keep the motion picture faithful to the spirit of the game. In doing so, however, it commits the cardinal sin of boring the audience. With no genuine sense of danger, there's no excitement.
Some interesting casting choices were made. Bob Hoskins, who suddenly appears willing to lend his once-respected name to ventures of dubious quality, gives a solid-if-unspectacular performance as the older of the Mario brothers. John Leguizamo, on the other hand, is not good; earnestness doesn't compensate for lack of ability. Samantha Mathis, who has shown her skill in films such as Pump Up the Volume and This is My Life, plays an appealing, if somewhat gawky, college-aged princess. Dennis Hopper is disappointing. His role as King Koopa cries out for an over-the-top performance but, for some inexplicable reason, Hopper plays him straight, creating a dull and uncharismatic villain. This guy is so boring that we find it difficult to root against him -- that is, when we can unravel enough of the murky plot to figure out why we're not supposed to like him.
Admittedly, the visual effects are nice, but it's a poor movie these days that can't claim that quality. There isn't anything new or revolutionary here. Back in 1979, Star Trek: The Motion Picture proved that special effects alone, no matter how impressive, cannot sustain an audience's interest. What was true then remains so today. Super Mario Brothers is all glitz and no substance, and makes for a pretty poor time at the movies.
Kids will probably love this film but, to be frank, most children aren't that discriminating (apologies to the few who are). There's nothing in the film that's reprehensible (although some may find the concept of a one-hundred five minute commercial for a game offensive in itself), but I find it hard to believe that many adults accompanying their youngsters will be entertained. In general, about the best recommendation I can come up with regarding this movie is to turn on the Nintendo and play a game yourself. You'll have more fun, spend less money, and it will be over a whole lot faster.
© 1993, 1996 James Berardinelli