Cast: Helen Mirren, Katie Holmes, Marisa Coughlan, Barry Watson, Vivica A. Fox, Michael McKean, Molly Ringwald, Liz Stauber, Jeffrey Tambor, Lesley Ann Warren
Director: Kevin Williamson
Producer: Cathy Konrad
Screenplay: Kevin Williamson
Cinematography: Jerzy Zielinski
Music: John Frizzell
U.S. Distributor: Dimension Films
Kevin Williamson apparently only had one bullet in his gun, and that was fired some time ago. The writer-turned-director (who is making his debut behind the camera with Teaching Mrs. Tingle) may be one of Hollywood's hottest properties, but, with one exception, the credits on his resume don't inspire confidence. His output is like the Emperor's New Clothes - everyone oohs and aahs, even though there's nothing there. It is becoming increasingly evident that Williamson, the mastermind behind the teen soap opera "Dawson's Creek" and feature films I Know What You Did Last Summer and The Faculty, is a purveyor of drek. The one exception, Scream, appears to have sapped whatever creative energy he possessed, and Teaching Mrs. Tingle is easily his worst product to date.
For some unfathomable reason, there has been a controversy surrounding Teaching Mrs. Tingle. Supposedly, there were concerns that the depiction of teen-oriented violence in the film might appear exploitative in the wake of what happened at Columbine High School. As a result of this hyper-sensitivity (which is misplaced - nothing in Teaching Mrs. Tingle comes close to echoing the horrible reality of what transpired in Colorado), Miramax changed the film's title from its original moniker, Killing Mrs. Tingle, to its current name (which, incidentally, is more appropriate). The ending was also re-shot, although even with Alfred Hitchcock at the helm, no conclusion could have saved this motion picture.
The two words most often used to describe Williamson's work in Scream (and its sequel) were "clever" and "witty." It's easy to find adjectives for Teaching Mrs. Tingle - just consult a thesaurus and find antonyms for those terms. At its best, this movie is a study in mediocrity. At its worst, it's dull, insipid, and shockingly dumb. The story was conceived in the same half-satire/half-thriller womb where all of Williamson's movies have gotten their start, but there isn't a scary scene or (intentionally) funny joke to be found. If not for the delicious performance of Helen Mirren, who, by baring her teeth and adopting an American accent, brings occasional, momentary relief to the tedium of sitting through this film, Teaching Mrs. Tingle would have been a torturous experience.
Mirren, one of today's most underrated working actresses, plays the title character, the embodiment of every student's darkest nightmare. Think of your worst high school teacher and cross her with the Wicked Witch of the West, and the result is still too pleasant for Mrs. Tingle. She's so nasty that even the principal (Michael McKean) fears her. In her presence, he begins to act like Lenny from "Laverne and Shirley." Mrs. Tingle is also unfair. A brilliantly devised history project turned in by the brightest student in her class, Leigh Ann Watson (Katie Holmes, crossing over with Williamson from "Dawson's Creek"), is given a C simply because Mrs. Tingle doesn't like the girl. The poor grade threatens Leigh Ann's shot at a college scholarship (she needs an A in history to finish as Valedictorian and earn the free tuition). Later, Mrs. Tingle discovers Leigh Ann red-handed with an illicitly obtained copy of the history final exam. The girl is actually innocent - her feisty best friend, Jo Lynn (Marisa Coughlan), and Jo Lynn's would-be boyfriend, Luke (Barry Watson), are the responsible parties - but Mrs. Tingle is determined to lower the boom on Leigh Ann.
That evening, the student trio goes to their teacher's house, hopeful that they can convince her of Leigh Ann's innocence. Mrs. Tingle is not sympathetic. She makes a couple of snide comments, Luke acts threatening, and matters get out of hand. During a scuffle, the teacher is knocked unconscious. Uncertain about how to handle the situation, and realizing that things have become a police matter, Leigh Ann, Jo Lynn, and Luke tie up Mrs. Tingle as they plot their next move. However, the wily woman does not meekly accept her role as a passive captive.
Aside from the script, which, in the grand tradition of all brain-dead writing, frequently makes no sense whatsoever, the greatest flaw in Teaching Mrs. Tingle is the way the characters are presented and treated. Other than Mrs. Tingle, who is a vicious caricature, no one in this film is broad enough to be satirical or believable enough to be interesting or sympathetic. And, because we don't develop a bond with Leigh Ann, Jo Lynn, or Luke, their planning and interaction, which comprises three-quarters of what's on screen, becomes nothing more than an annoying background noise. What does it matter if Luke would rather sleep with virginal Leigh Ann than sexy Jo Lynn? Who cares if Mrs. Tingle is having an affair with the gym teacher? And why do the two teen girls both have two first names?
Admittedly, Katie Holmes is cute. For that matter, so is Marisa Coughlan, and there are isolated incidents when the two young actresses are given a chance to flash their charisma (although, considering the PG-13 rating, that's all they flash). Undoubtedly, one of the reasons for Holmes' casting was to cash in on her current popularity and boost the box office draw. As the third member of the teen trio, Barry Watson is completely forgettable. He's a generic good-looking guy with long hair, brooding eyes, and minimal talent. In fact, the only one to make an impression is Helen Mirren, whose flamboyant interpretation of a woman who "goes straight for the jugular every time" eclipses the work of every one of her co-stars. (Considering who they are, that's not much of a compliment.) While Mirren's performance here won't make anyone forget her roles in The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover or Some Mother's Son, at least she doesn't embarrass herself. Like Sir Ian McKellen in Apt Pupil, she's the best thing about an otherwise lackluster production (and, overall, Teaching Mrs. Tingle is a substantially worse movie than Apt Pupil). Familiar faces Michael McKean, Vivica A. Fox, Jeffrey Tambor, Lesley Ann Warren, and former teen movie queen Molly Ringwald make appearances.
Even die-hard Williamson fans (are there such people?) who have been looking forward to his directorial debut are likely to be disheartened by the plodding, generic nature of Teaching Mrs. Tingle. The lack of surprises, plot twists, and clever dialogue makes this a distressingly lame offering. After all, what is a thriller without surprises, plot twists, or clever dialogue? (Answer: a Steven Seagal movie.) When it comes to presenting a quality effort, the filmmakers involved with Teaching Mrs. Tingle need to learn a few lessons. Even grading on a curve, I can't give this better than an "F."
© 1999 James Berardinelli