Cast: Amanda Bynes, Colin Firth, Kelly Preston, Anna Chancellor, Oliver James, Jonathan Pryce, Eileen Atkins, Christina Cole
Director: Dennie Gordon
Producers: Denise Di Novi, Bill Gerber, Hunt Lowry
Screenplay: Jenny Bicks and Elizabeth Chandler, based on the 1958 screenplay by William Douglas Home
Cinematography: Andrew Dunn
Music: Rupert Gregson-Williams
U.S. Distributor: Warner Brothers
Forget Halloween. Forget The Shining. Forget The Exorcist and The Ring. The movie to truly horrify a grown man is What a Girl Wants, a motion picture that only a female (preferably between the ages of 8 and 16) could love. This goes beyond the term "chick flick" to something more estrogen-driven than a romantic comedy. It's a variation of the Cinderella fairy tale that knows its target audience. Pre-teen and teenage girls (and maybe a few older women) will adore this motion picture. They will identify with the main character as a fantasy object, sigh over older hunk Colin Firth and younger hunk Oliver James, and hiss and spit at wicked, nasty Anna Chancellor. In fact, the only thing surprising about What a Girl Wants is that it's not from Disney, the company that foisted the oh-too-similar Princess Diaries upon us.
Predictable, giddy movies with contrived plot devices and relentlessly upbeat endings are not my kind of thing. I don't like films where I'm always at least two steps ahead of the screenwriter and three ahead of the characters. It is possible to construct a modern-day fairy tale with a smart script (try Drew Barrymore's Ever After, if you don't believe me), but that would take more effort than what has occurred here – slapping together a bunch of tried-and-true elements and throwing them up on the screen. I didn't hate What a Girl Wants, but there were plenty of times when I found myself wishing it would have the gumption to be more than it is. The 100 minutes go by effortlessly, although they aren't spent profitably.
Daphne Reynolds (Amanda Bynes) is a typical 16-year old teenage girl being raised by a single parent, Libby (Kelly Preston). She has never met her father because he doesn't know about her. 17 years ago, Libby met Henry Dashwood (Colin Firth), in Morocco, where they were married in a desert ceremony. But the marriage fell apart when Henry returned to England and his stuck-up friends and advisors urged Libby to go home. Now, nearly two decades later, Daphne tracks down her father and shows up unannounced in his back garden, upsetting his life, his bid for a seat in Parliament, and his prospective marriage to the haughty Glynnis (Anna Chancellor). Aside from Henry, the only one delighted to meet Daphne is her grandmother (Eileen Atkins). Thus begins a tug-of-war, as Daphne and Henry work to change one another. She tries to loosen him up; he tries to teach her decorum. Along the way, she also finds time to fall in love with Ian (Oliver James), a local musician.
Lead actress Amanda Bynes is perky and energetic, and does a good job when the screenplay doesn't require much in the way of emotional range or depth. After a while, however, the non-stop cheerfulness and high-wattage smile begin to wear on one's nerves. Colin Firth does his best not to appear constantly embarrassed, which is something of a challenge, especially when he's put in the position of having to try on tight leather pants. Kelly Preston is relaxed and in her element. This is the kind of role she can play without trying. Both Anna Chancellor, as the wicked stepmother type, and Jonathan Pryce, as her father, look constantly constipated.
What a Girl Wants is not only the victim of mediocre writing, it is hamstrung by amateurish camerawork. Director Dennie Gordon only has one feature on her resume (Joe Dirt), and her lack of skill is apparent. She is overly fond of close-ups (probably as a result of his numerous television credits) and many of her shots are static and composed with a 1.33:1 aspect ratio in mind (despite the fact that the movie is projected at 2:35:1). The result is a movie whose flat look seems strangely appropriate for its lightweight story. This is a throwaway TV movie packaged for a theatrical release. Anyone not in the target demographic is advised to give it a wide berth.
© 2003 James Berardinelli