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Vexer
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
I'm not too sure about the Crow remake, I personally think it's WAAYYYY too soon to be remaking it as it isn't even that old of a film, but Mark Wahlberg did do a pretty good job playing Max Payne, and he'd be well suited for the film. But I don't think Eric Draven should be the protagonatist as anyone that played him would come off as inferior to Brandon Lee, which is why the main protagonist should be a completely different character with a very different backstory.
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| Thu Oct 21, 2010 12:55 am |
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Patrick
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
They did that already Vexer, it was called the sequels since The Crow only has one story...ever. Guy comes back from the dead to get vengeance. I don't see how we should treat an obvious remake any different than those subtle remakes called the sequels.
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| Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:00 am |
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Ken
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
Man, whomever has those uncompromising pictures of Mark Wahlberg just can't stop putting the screws to the poor guy.
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| Thu Oct 21, 2010 1:21 pm |
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majoraphasia
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
My guess is that he's suffering from chronic bowel problems. He does the best he can yet can't help but facially express the war waging inside of his colon.
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| Thu Oct 21, 2010 1:30 pm |
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Ken
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
Which adds an interesting subtext to the scene in Max Payne when he freaks out on the drug.
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| Thu Oct 21, 2010 1:52 pm |
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JamesKunz
Critic
Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:35 am Posts: 6020 Location: Easton, MD
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
I rather enjoyed Max Payne actually.
_________________ I'm lithe and fierce as a tiger
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| Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:11 pm |
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majoraphasia
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
Man. Really? I thought you were joking when you'd praised it in the past. I haven't seen it but it's readily available... hmmm, probably definitely worth a look. I've heard good about Hitman and avoided it for the same reasons -- it looked mediocre.
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| Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:26 pm |
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JamesKunz
Critic
Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:35 am Posts: 6020 Location: Easton, MD
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
Nope deadly serious. Perhaps I'm tainted because I played and loved the game, but my wife knew nothing about the game and is a sharper critic than I am and yet she liked it too. It has some flaws--obviously not filmed in New York, boring primary villain--but it also has sequences directed with real flair and a nice gloomy tone throughout. So I was a fan
_________________ I'm lithe and fierce as a tiger
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| Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:43 pm |
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Ken
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
I saw Max Payne as a confirmation of my suspicion that cinema is in a state of slow but irrevocable decline.
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| Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:35 pm |
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JamesKunz
Critic
Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:35 am Posts: 6020 Location: Easton, MD
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
Peaks and valleys, man, peaks and valleys. The 1980s, while great at churning out superior action movies, were really, really short on great American dramas. Then the 1990s came and cinema exploded in a myriad of fascinating ways. And then the 2000s brought things down. Hopefully the 10s will be better
_________________ I'm lithe and fierce as a tiger
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| Fri Oct 22, 2010 9:36 pm |
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Evenflow8112
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
Well, firstly, we need more comedies that take advantage of the irrepressible talents of one Dax Shepard. Here's hoping someone from the 'bigs' reads this.
In all seriousness:
- The MySpace Movie: The Gospel According To Tom
- Elephant 2: Something Ponderous This Way Comes
- Sugarland Express - remake (feat. Paris Hilton)
- Precocious: Based On A Novel By Bo Jackson
- Requiem For Hakeem - or - Olajuwonna Man?
- Random Spike Lee Film I'm Not Going To Watch (Due.10.20.Whofuckincares)
- Old Joy, featuring James K. and Mark spelunking nature (and each other) for 76 solid (and I mean solid) minutes. - (a.k.a 'Old Jeffries')
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| Sat Oct 23, 2010 1:35 am |
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majoraphasia
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
Weird that Evenflow8112 has the same fantasies about James K. as I do after a fifth of Jack and a drunken renouncement of my wedding vows.
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| Sat Oct 23, 2010 1:59 am |
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Ken
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
I see the 2010s (and the 2020s, perhaps) as the point when cinema realizes it will have to change or die, then make its decision.* Nothing lasts forever, and cinema has lasted for a century. So far, the only major pressure from other media that has forced it to modify itself has been television. Now, there are so many others. When I predict that cinema is in decline, I'm only really talking about cinema as we know it. It may be on the cusp of an evolutionary step that will be as wonderful as it is unprecedented. (*Borrowed from Neil Gaiman, whose way with words is vastly superior to mine.)
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| Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:49 am |
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Timmy Shoes
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
Normally I try not to be this shallow...but...I'd be lying if I said I didn't want this movie to be leaked...
Another Celebrity Sex Tape, starring Timmy Shoes and Scarlett Johansson.
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| Sat Oct 23, 2010 12:21 pm |
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Robert Holloway
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
Patrick is already desperately Googling this
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| Sat Oct 23, 2010 12:29 pm |
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mailedbypostman
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
All I know is that it will most likely be rendered in gloriously wasteful 3D.
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| Sat Oct 23, 2010 12:52 pm |
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Patrick
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 Re: Movies that don't exist that you wish did
Dammit Google, can't you search any faster than 0.19 seconds!
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| Sat Oct 23, 2010 1:08 pm |
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