Awesome. I think this one is especially well written, Thank you for posting it here! On most occations, I can see the reason for things evolving.
I'd still like to note a couple of things. This all being things, that just seem a little bit strange to me, but may be totally normal in that world (if it had been stated somewhere)
First.. This part is a lot more erotic than I expected it to be, this is pretty clear right from the beginning. That's not something I'd mind, but imho the part with "The Women" was a bit of a stretch. Most of the time they were referenced, there was only information on what they do at night. Like that's the only thing they do at night
But that may be because in this world, "The Women" are just that way, I would have appreciated a little more details on this house where "The Women" live.
I think the father / daughter relationship was well penned and quite realistic. You gave very good explenations on why they bonded so well.
Then there was this scene in the tavern. Ponari approaches Warburm. I found this passage to be a little inconsistant. First thing I wondered was, how does she know that "he saw himself in the role of a maiden's protector"? Did people know about this "stereotype" back then?
Then she wants to act shy but continues to leave the tavern in a very... grown up manner.
I missed a little details about village life there, food, work, enjoyment..
What I really liked a lot was the overall pace. You speed up things and summarize what happens in between and you slow down when necessary.
Oh, I almost forgot to ask, do you employ special accents (like Warburm's) in the main books as well?
Looking forward to the next part! I'm getting invested in the stories more and more..