Cast: Jim Varney, Ron K. James, Duke Ernsberger, Jeffrey Pillars, Linda Kash
Director: John Cherry
Producer: Stacy Williams
Screenplay: John Cherry and William M. Akers
Cinematography: David Geddes
Music: Bruce Arntson, Kirby Shelstad
U.S. Distributor: Emshell Producers Group
Ernest: the one-joke concept that refuses to die, no matter how desperately we want it to. It's an amazing -- and pathetic -- testimonial to American culture that a series of television commercials is capable of spawning a movie and umpteen sequels (I believe this is the fourth in the series, but it's entirely possible I missed one somewhere). Once again, Jim Varney returns in the role that demands no acting whatsoever, and given that he never seems to do anything else, it's quite an eye opening experience to see him turn in an actual performance as Jed Clampett in the new Beverly Hillbillies.
The plot of Ernest Rides Again has something to do with the pet theory of an irritating character named Dr. Abner Mellon, who claims that the British Crown Jewels no longer in England. Instead, they're hidden in an old civil war cannon called Goliath. Of course, Ernest stumbles upon Goliath by accident, and eventually he and the good doctor end up riding the runaway cannon away from pursuers that include Mellon's wife, a team of British secret service agents with horrible accents, a bad guy who wants the jewels for his private collection, a farmer with a pitchfork, and a pair of vacuum cleaner salesmen. I'm not making this up.
Ordinarily, this might seem like a decent premise for a madcap movie -- not Shakespeare, to be sure, but something watchable. Alas, it isn't so. Ernest Rides Again is painfully inept in every area. It's not coherent, it's not well-paced, and, worst of all, it's not funny. From start to finish, there isn't a laugh to be had. Perhaps I should have taken it as a sign when the film broke at the beginning of the five-minute short preceding Ernest Rides Again. (Called "Mr. Bill Goes to Washington", this Walter Williams creation is a nadir in satire, but I never cared much for Mr. Bill anyway, so what do I know?) And just when I thought the main feature couldn't possibly be worse than its lead in... Well, it just goes to show that Hollywood is still capable of surprising me.
I don't frighten easily. I've sat through any number of supposedly-terrifying flims without batting an eyelash, but Ernest Rides Again managed something that not even Halloween could accomplish. When the film came to a close with the promise of another sequel (Ernest Goes to School, for anyone who cares), I felt a shiver of pure horror race up my spine. Another movie this bad -- now that's a scary thought.
© 1993 James Berardinelli