Cast: Eddie Murphy, Terence Stamp, Nathaniel Parker, Marsha Thomason, Jennifer Tilly, Wallace Shawn, Dina Waters, Marc John Jefferies, Aree Davis
Director: Rob Minkoff
Producers: Andrew Gunn, Don Hahn
Screenplay: David Berenbaum
Cinematography: Remi Adefarasin
Music: Mark Mancina
U.S. Distributor: Walt Disney Pictures
When I was a kid, my favorite place to visit in Disneyworld was The Haunted Mansion. So I was in a nostalgic frame of mind when I sat down to watch this latest ride-turned-movie. Unfortunately, the theme park tie-in is about the only thing The Haunted Mansion has going for it. To be frank, this is a 99-minute commercial for a three-minute attraction. While Pirates of the Caribbean successfully managed to escape the constraints of its origins and provide a rousing evening's entertainment, The Haunted Mansion doesn't come close to the same level. It's dull, childish, and uninspired.
Parts of The Haunted Mansion come across as a third-rate Ghostbusters rip-off. As a whole, the production offers an amateurish look and feel. The storyline is so choppy and poorly developed that one has to wonder if there was a finished screenplay when filming started. Eddie Murphy does the same kind of lackluster family friendly shtick he has adopted for many of his recent outings (Dr. Dolittle 1 & 2, Daddy Day Care, etc.), leaving the scene stealing to a deadpan Terence Stamp. The special effects work is unforgivably poor. Never has it been more obvious that a group of tarantulas was computer generated. Lesson to the film makers: If you're going to use fake spiders, at least take the trouble to make them look real.
Husband-and-wife realtors Jim and Sara Evers (Murphy and Marsha Thomason), accompanied by their annoying kids, Michael (Marc John Jefferies) and Megan (Aree Davis), decide to stop at a potential client's run-down mansion on their way to a weekend vacation. After being met by the humorless butler Ramsley (Stamp), they are ushered in to meet Master Gracey (Nathaniel Parker), who turns out to be a ghost. And he's not the only one - the manor is haunted. Some of the spirits are benign, but others are less-than-friendly. There's a curse to be broken, and the Evers may not be able to escape from Gracey Mansion until they unravel the clues that allow the dead to rest in peace.
The lack of creativity evident in this project is disappointing, but not surprising. All of the key elements of the theme park ride are present, from the disembodied Madame Leota in the crystal ball (played here by Jennifer Tilley) to the hitchhikers to the ballroom, but they are jumbled together with little form and less purpose. Any good ghost story, whether humorous or not, needs to have a palpable sense of atmosphere, and The Haunted Mansion has none. The humor is sporadically amusing, but never hilarious. Although this new, neutered Eddie Murphy may be more palatable for kids, he's a lot less funny than the old, profane one.
The Haunted Mansion's director is no unproven stiff. Rob Minkoff has a respectable resume. In addition to helming both of the Stuart Little movies, he was a co-director for Disney's second-biggest animated hit of all time, The Lion King. To say that this movie is a step down is to understate matters. However, in a climate where mediocre fare like The Cat in the Hat can succeed, The Haunted Mansion should be able to make a box office killing. (If quality was the determining factor, it wouldn't stand a ghost of a chance.)
The Haunted Mansion is not reprehensible or unwatchable, although this is another case in which children will enjoy the experience far more than their beleaguered parents. (Any mother or father who dutifully accompanies his or her offspring to both The Cat in the Hat and The Haunted Mansion this holiday season deserves combat pay.) The only legitimate argument I can come up with for seeing this film is that it's cheaper to pay the price of admission to a theater than to ante up the money for a trip to one of the Disney theme parks. Then again, if it's the amusement park ride you're going for, a far better option is to rent Pirates of the Caribbean. Not only is it cheaper, but it's a lot more enjoyable. And "Yo Ho! A Pirate's Life For Me!" is a better song than "Grim Grinning Ghosts."
© 2003 James Berardinelli