Cast: Catherine Deneuve, Stephen Rea, Tim Roth, Justin Chambers, David Schofield, Mena Suvari
Director: Peter Hyams
Producers: Rudy Cohen, Moshe Diamant
Screenplay: Gene Quintano, based on the novel "The Three Musketeers" by Alexandre Dumas
Cinematography: Peter Hyams
Music: David Arnold
U.S. Distributor: Universal Pictures
For the third time in less than a decade, Alexandre Dumas is turning over in his grave. Not content with making one or even two bad adaptations of Dumas' works, the motion picture industry has managed a perfect trifecta. Back in 1993, it was the Disney-fied version of The Three Musketeers. In 1998, it was double Leonardo DiCaprio (in full "I can't act" mode) in The Man in the Iron Mask. Now, three years later, we have The Musketeer, which is arguably the worst of the trio.
Dumas penned three novels about the Four Musketeers (Athos, Porthos, Aramis, and D'Artagnan): The Three Musketeers, Twenty Years Later, and The Man in the Iron Mask. The Musketeer deals loosely with the events of the first book, where the young would-be cavalier D'Artagnan (Justin Chambers) tries to join the Musketeers, the elite corps of guards sworn to protect France's King Louis XIII during the mid-17th century. Unfortunately, by the time D'Artagnan has honed his skills to the point where he is ready, Cardinal Richelieu (Stephen Rea), the real source of power behind the throne, has disbanded the Musketeers. Outlawed, they now spend their time in taverns, boozing and wenching. D'Artangnan is suitably horrified, and goes about resurrecting the pride of the Musketeers by rescuing the king and his queen (Catherine Deneuve) from an attempted assassination orchestrated by Richelieu's rabid pet, Febre (Tim Roth), with whom D'Artagnan has an old score to settle. Meanwhile, he finds the time to romance one of the queen's handmaidens (Mena Suvari).
Of course, the story doesn't mean much - it's no more than background information. This is really an action/adventure motion picture, where a minor detail like plot is just something to fill in the void between fight sequences, which are well-choreographed but uninteresting. There's no character involvement - we aren't concerned that one of the protagonists is in danger. Instead, we watch the fight scenes with an eye towards dissecting their technical complexity - where the edits are, where stunt doubles are used, and so forth. This is the antithesis of "suspension of disbelief". The final battle involves a great many ladders, and, as they duel with swords, the two combatants scale them and balance on them in precarious positions. The sequence reminded me not of a fight scene, but of some sort of gigantic Rube Goldberg project. In the end, one of the two dies, but we're so involved in watching the ladders move that we miss the bloody payoff. This is one instance when a documentary about the making of the movie would be far more engrossing than the movie itself.
The casting is curious. There are some fairly recognizable names in supporting roles - Catherine Deneuve, Stephen Rea, Mena Suvari. Yet, for the Musketeers, we are given unknowns. In fact, Aramis, Athos, and Porthos are relegated to the background. D'Artagnan is played by Justin Chambers, who has the appearance and acting talent of a male underwear model lifted from a magazine spread. Tim Roth is the only high-profile name with more than an extended cameo. His Febre comes across like a pale imitation of Roth's most feral villain, Rob Roy's Cunningham. Clearly, everyone involved with The Musketeer saw this as little more than an opportunity to collect a paycheck, and it shows in their performances. Likewise, director Peter Hyams (2010) does a perfunctory job behind the camera.
Watching The Musketeer, I was reminded of the "kung fu" films that were imported into this country during the '70s: irrelevant plots, lots of action, laughable acting, and badly dubbed dialogue. All of those elements, save the last one, apply to this movie. And, while there's no dubbing, the lines spoken by the characters are so overripe they offer at least as much entertainment value. The most positive thing I can say about The Musketeer is that it probably won't put anyone to sleep. The credits list this film as being based on Dumas' The Three Musketeers. What they really should have said is "with apologies to Alexandre Dumas". That would have been a fair attribution.
© 2001 James Berardinelli