Cast: Brady Corbet, Soren Fulton, Bill Paxton, Ben Kingsley, Vanessa Anne Hudgens, Anthony Edwards, Sophia Myles, Ron Cook
Director: Jonathan Frakes
Producers: Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner, Mark Huffam
Screenplay: William Osborne and Michael McCullers, based on the television series by Gerry & Sylvia Anderson
Cinematography: Brendan Galvin
Music: Hans Zimmer
U.S. Distributor: Universal Pictures
It would be dishonest for me to attempt to compare the 2004 motion picture version of Thunderbirds with its antecedent, a 1960s British TV program. I believe I may have seen a few episodes of the program as a child, but the memories are too dim for me to claim familiarity with the series. Nevertheless, just by looking at this live-action adaptation, I'm willing to guess that fans of Gerry Anderson's creation are not going to be pleased. But I'll let them speak for themselves. For anyone who is approaching Thunderbirds "fresh," without baggage, my advice is to stay away. This is another example of the idiocy that often results when Hollywood attempts to convert an animated TV show into a non-animated movie. (Think The Flintstones, Josie and the Pussycats, and Scooby Doo. Need I say more?)
There is a chasm of difference between a "children's film" and a "family film." The latter is a production that, although it may be marketed primarily for kids, is enjoyable by all members of the family, regardless of age, gender, or level of sophistication. The former term, however, characterizes a motion picture that is suitable only for those who have not yet entered puberty. Thunderbirds most assuredly belongs to the "children's movie" category. Seven or eight-year olds will probably enjoy the slim pickings. Adults, however, will view this film as a form of inhumane punishment. Normally, I advise parents to sit through movies with their offspring. This is an exception. Due to the mental stress incurred by Thunderbirds, adults - even mild-mannered, good-natured ones - could end up retaliating against their children after seeing this movie, perhaps going so far as to send them to bed without dessert.
The movie centers upon the Thuderbirds, a family of do-gooders who hide out on a secret island. They are led by Dad, Jeff Tracy (Bill Paxton). Jeff has five sons, all of whom are members of the Thunderbirds, except the youngest, Alan (Brady Corbet), who is still in school. However, when the Thunderbirds are rendered helpless by the machinations of an evil entity named The Hood (Ben Kingsley), it's up to Alan to prove his worth. The task is daunting, but he obtains some help from his friends Fermat (Soren Fulton) and Tintin (Vanessa Anne Hudgens), and a high-kicking British woman named Lady Penelope (Sophia Myles), whose nipples get hard when exposed to cold. (Don't ask, just look. For any male over age 12, it's the movie's lone high point - just don't expect too much. The rating is PG, after all.)
I'm guessing that part of the appeal of the TV series might have been the cool five Thunderbird vehicles. All of them are represented in the movie, but none seems terribly impressive. A couple are futuristic-looking airplanes, one orbits the Earth, one is a rocket, and one goes under water. Maybe this kind of stuff was "cool" in the 1960s, but that was forty years ago, and director Jonathan Frakes has not given us a reason to think of these ships as anything other than varied means of transportation.
Speaking of Frakes, he is in danger of turning into one of the least desirable kind of available filmmakers: one who specializes in bad children's films. After making a respectable behind-the-camera debut with Star Trek: First Contact (in which he also played First Officer Will Riker), Frakes has moved beyond the Enterprise to make first Clockstoppers and now this. It's not an encouraging trend. At least it wasn't all bad for Frakes. He got to spend some time with his wife (former soap star Genie Francis) during the filming of Thunderbirds. She has a role as a TV reporter.
The biggest parts in Thunderbirds belong to the kids, and it's obvious that none of them (especially Brady Corbet, who plays Alan) is a seasoned professional. There are some veterans on hand: Bill Paxton, Anthony Edwards, and Ben Kingsley. (Critic Nathan Lerner observed that Thunderbirds may be the worst movie ever to feature both an Oscar-winner, Kingsley, and an Emmy-winner, Edwards.) However, while Edwards and Paxton are able to "play down" to the material at hand, Kingsley keeps his performance on a higher level, which creates a bizarre and uncomfortable contrast of styles. While everyone else is acting as if this is a cartoon-come-to-life, Kingsley's approach is dark and sinister. Did someone give him the wrong script?
Watching a misfire like Thunderbirds illustrates how impressive the Spy Kids movies are. The underlying premises of the films are not all that different, yet Robert Rodriguez has managed to identify and distill the ingredients that make this kind of endeavor fun, while Jonathan Frakes gets the recipe all wrong.
© 2004 James Berardinelli